When I was little, I don't remember how old I was, I randomly told my grandmother "Samson is a good dog." Samson was my aunt's dog and I've always had a close relationship with him, and as soon as I say he's a good dog (I'm very and still very specific about the words I use and understand it's too much. past and will be used if that's what I mean) she got a call from my aunt saying that Samson had just been hit by a truck and died. I have always maintained that childish indifference towards death. When my grandfather died, I never cried. When my grandfather died, I didn't cry, when my uncle committed suicide, I didn't cry for him (However, I hugged my father when he cried because of his big brother, it felt strange to see my father cry and hug me. Grandma like grandma cries every year on the anniversary of her first child's death), when my great-grandmother died, I didn't cry (I can tell that I've been missing somewhere for a while and am very sad because I don't know. who else in the family told me my grandma passed away and I had to see her on Facebook a few months later even though I was in the state when the funeral was held), and when my dog died, I do not cry. I never even cry when people die in books or movies despite an emotional connection to them and cry with them when life goes down. And I always feel something is missing when someone dies, it's not a bad feeling and I'm not afraid of it, but I know. It's as if tgere is the rope that binds us and everyone we know in an intricate pattern and when someone dies, that rope is untied and everything else is gently rearranged. . matches the missing rope, and I have a feeling of "missing" until they have been rearranged. People think I'm cold because of my views on death, but at the same time see me as a very empathetic person, but I just think I am. However, I hope that when my grandmother passes away, I will shed tears for her because she was the one who raised me instead of my parents, which is a slightly sinful hope for me. I know it's unlikely but that's what I do when something heartbreaking happens.
