Bạn cần xem lại cách diễn đạt nhé, có nhiều câu bị dịch word by word quá. Mình khuyên bạn nên viết lại cả bài để đạt được kết quả tốt nhất.

Mình khuyên bạn không nên đặt câu hỏi trong bài writing và phân tách các ý chính/luận điểm rõ ràng chứ không được liệt kê trong một câu.

Tuy nhiên, mình xin được sửa lại bài như sau:

Many years ago, it wasn't uncommon to see families with about four, five or six children. However, as years passed, people have been having fewer children.

The first thing to mention is the considerable economic pressure on a young family, the cost of living, buying a house, food, power, water, and others which in turn creates great considerations with the decision to have a baby. In particular, the costs of preparing and raising children are increasing, from food, clothing, school, medical, and other expenses.

Secondly, young people have a higher awareness of how to give birth and raise good children. Furthermore, modern women identify the need to balance family life and other values such as career, personal life, health, and beauty, so having fewer children is the right choice for them.

Many years ago, it wasn't uncommon to see families with about 4, 5, and even 6 children. But as the years passed, people have been having fewer and fewer children. Why?
 The first is the considerable economic pressure on a young family, the cost of living, buying a house, food, power, water, and others which in turn creates excellent considerations with the decision to have a baby. In particular, the costs of preparing and raising children are increasing, from food, clothing, school, medical, and other expenses, so we must have a foundation to think about having many children. Secondly, young people have a higher awareness of how to give birth and raise good children. Littles kids for better care. And another reason, modern women identify the need to balance family life and other values such as career, personal life, health, and beauty, so having fewer children is the right choice for them.